Beauty in Pain

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This post is for you young one.

For some weeks, I lost my appetite that I have to force myself to eat just to put some food in my stomach. There comes a time that I was really crying due to stress and my body’s trembling. I’ve been so sad, anxious, empty, hopeless, helpless, irritable, angry and restless. But nobody knows, because everyday I have to fight this feeling that I must be okay. I need to be okay. I didn’t acknowledge what’s my current situation because I think, this would get worse and to some, this would seems so funny.

I was praying hard. Maybe Lord can hear me from afar. I never heard any voice, I didn’t see any sign, I was waiting for something miraculous that would happen but still I got no response. For some weeks, I haven’t attend any church service. I set alarms yet I never woke up on time or I wasn’t allowed to go out.

Where’s that woman who laughs about everything, who appreciate little things, who is excited to wake up everyday to do her job with enjoyment, who is very enthusiastic, who smiles a lot and never give up?

Who took that woman away from me?

But the Lord never gave up on me, I know it was Him who asked me to continue to pray while I am in this situation. I know it was Him to push me to cry when I had no chance to cry before. I know it was Him who reminded me to continue reading His word and be reminded of His promises. I know it was Him who shown me things that I should be happy about. I know it was Him who woke me up in the morning, even if I don’t want to and said that I must keep going. I know it was Him. I know it is Him.

The message that God is imparting me is, God made me strong not face the battle alone but to fight it with Him. When you run alone, it’s called race and when God runs with you it’s called GRACE.

First, acceptance. Look at your current situation the way it should be and accept it. Being a Christian doesn’t mean we have to be okay all the time, it’s okay not to be okay. It’s okay to cry, to be sad, to feel what you really feel but remember that this shall pass. Whether you’re broken or whole, you have that assurance and hope for a better days to come with the Lord.

Second, lumaban ka din. If you feel like everything is falling apart or you see na nawawalan ka na ng faith, lumaban ka din. God is fighting for you and you also must do some action not to let go. Hindi kita i-gigive up, Anak. The scariest place would be the unknown but it is also the place where you can be the braviest.

There’s a purpose for every pain, it’s either you go through it or grow through it. What matters is, how well do you learn in this situation? Does it make you strong? Does it stretch your faith? Does it make you admire Christ more? If yes, then believe that there’s really a beauty in every pain.